It Feels Weird

Throughout my whole education, I had this voice at the back of my head telling me that I should be doing schoolwork. I should be catching up or working ahead. This voice didn't drive me crazy. In fact, I was pretty good at ignoring it. I shot down that voice with excuses reasons such as 'I need to reply to these e-mails', 'I'm hungry', 'I'm sick', and the most frequent 'It's just too cold'. If I hadn't been such a procrastinator, I may not have had that voice. Being homeschooled, I (for the most part) was in charge of my own schedule. My poor parents. They should have had t-shirts made with a list of reminders like 'It might be a good idea to switch your laundry', 'how's that Chemistry test coming along?', and 'you should probably do your history reading'.

I killed that voice today. It feels weird. I definitely feel the absence. I finished high school. I finished my home education. 

I survived Driver's Ed (even though I got asked questions about school bus rules and regulations on the second day. Why the instructor picked the awkward homeschool kid in the back row is still a mystery to me. ;) )

I lived through science co-ops complete with organ-less crayfish and smoking blenders.

I managed to get through Pre-Calc; braces; the PSAT, ACT, and SAT; takings tests while sibling sat on my head; and late night paper writing sessions.

I also survived The Haircut of '08...one of the more difficult challenges

I loved doing schoolwork outside until it got too cold/windy/rainy. I loved curling up under millions of blankets and listening to schoolbooks on tape. I loved going into town in the middle of a school day when the store were quiet (I probably could've done without the young mother comments and looks, though).

Now the voice is dead and it's sinking in that I'm done.

I made the decision (after hours of talking and crying and talking and crying) to stay home for a year (Note: the crying wasn't because I didn't want to stay home. The crying was simply from the frustration of not knowing what I wanted to do) and do a bunch of things that will be fun, random, and a little bit scary.

I have an entire year ahead of me to push myself. To get out of my introvert shell and become more me. I closed my schoolbooks for the last time today and I also ended this chapter of my life (How's that for cheesy?). 

I'm really excited to start the next one. 

Here's a picture of me almost falling off of a camel. Just because.