Change and Acceptance

I don't like phone calls. E-mails, texts, and Facebook messages are wonderful. With social media, you know who you're contacting and you don't need to worry about the awkward 'Hi..uhm...yeah..is this Mr. So-and-so?'. When a message is written out, it's possible to go back and change something. Once something is said on the phone, no matter how mortifying, is permanently said.

Today, with much encouragement from my mom, I called an actual business to ask questions about their facility.

I didn't want to do it.

It was terrifying.

I definitely sounded like a dork at times.

But *such* a relief after I finally did it.

I don't have my future planned out. I don't know what college I'm going to. I don't know if I'll stay home for a year or two and work before going to college. I don't know if I'll even go to college.

But these things are coming up. Really fast.

I got an acceptance letter in the mail today and that made everything seem real. I have to make decisions. I have to push my intorvertedness aside and make scary phone calls. I have to make little decisions that will lead to bigger decisions. And that's scary.

What I really want to do is curl up in a blanket and watch the snow fall (I mean, snow is beautiful! People who complain about snow in November are crazy. Snow before Christmas is good. Snow after January can get annoying) with a mug of hot chocolate. I don't like the idea of doing 'big kid' things. I don't like the idea of change. The idea of going off to a different part of the state for a whole school year and do everything differently - everything that I've been used to for the past 17 years. This is going to be a year of lasts.

I don't want to leave my family or friends.

It sounds terrifying.

I will look like a dork at times.

But it's going to be *such* a relief when I embrace the change.

It's going to be a new part of my life. And it's going to be scary. But it's also going to be exciting.